Nytimes demise of dating updating vmware tools


03-Aug-2020 19:36

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Blame the much-documented rise of the “hookup culture” among young people, characterized by spontaneous, commitment-free (and often, alcohol-fueled) romantic flings. That may explain why “dates” among 20-somethings resemble college hookups, only without the dorms.

Many students today have never been on a traditional date, said Donna Freitas, who has taught religion and gender studies at Boston University and Hofstra and is the author of the forthcoming book, “The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy.” Hookups may be fine for college students, but what about after, when they start to build an adult life? Lindsay, a 25-year-old online marketing manager in Manhattan, recalled a recent non-date that had all the elegance of a keg stand (her last name is not used here to avoid professional embarrassment).

Also, there’s an increased likelihood of sexual assaults because hooking up is often fueled by alcohol. It used to be that “you were trained your whole life to date,” said Ms. “Now we’ve lost that ability ­ the ability to just ask someone out and get to know them.”Now that’s sad.

Ever night thousands of young people meet someone they don't know and sleep with them.” he wrote, before adding, “I’m here with a bunch of friends from college.” Turned off, she fired back a text message, politely declining.But in retrospect, she might have adjusted her expectations. Women in their 20s these days are lucky to get a last-minute text to tag along.“The word ‘date’ should almost be stricken from the dictionary,” Ms. “Dating culture has evolved to a cycle of text messages, each one requiring the code-breaking skills of a cold war spy to interpret.” “It’s one step below a date, and one step above a high-five,” she added. Raised in the age of so-called “hookup culture,” millennials — who are reaching an age where they are starting to think about settling down — are subverting the rules of courtship.

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Instead of dinner-and-a-movie, which seems as obsolete as a rotary phone, they rendezvous over phone texts, Facebook posts, instant messages and other “non-dates” that are leaving a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend.“The new date is ‘hanging out,’ ” said Denise Hewett, 24, an associate television producer in Manhattan, who is currently developing a show about this frustrating new romantic landscape.

As a guy, I can't say this is a bad thing, because on any given night out, you can have a little Brown Chicken, Brown Cow. Almost all the relationships I can think of around me started as hook-ups, including some of my own past ones, but I think something is lost here.



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