Dating with a learning disability
07-Oct-2020 03:41
The first time my boyfriend took his leg off for sex, it was a little weird. Now, I honestly barely notice – or care ‒ that he has no foot from the left shin down (for which he wears a prosthetic leg). Silence between two people who have nothing in common is awkward.
To answer your next question: he was born with it, due to amniotic band syndrome, which can restrict growth of limbs in the womb and cause other problems such as cleft palate. Incidentally, he also has a corrected club foot, a scar from a corrected cleft lip, issues with his hands — one has just two fingers and a thumb, and the other has four fingers which work fine but look a bit oddly shaped at closer inspection. Nothing much to see here (apart from the fact that he’s also gorgeous). Making a joke and having the other person not laugh at all is awkward. Being with someone who has a disability definitely shouldn’t be awkward.
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A bit less hiking up hills and a bit more sitting in country pubs. Or someone humiliating me or someone who just stops texting for no reason or generally behaves like a jerk. As anyone who’s done dating in a city will tell you, at length, you don’t have to have a disability to do those things.
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Some adults with a learning disability are able to live independently, while others need help with everyday tasks, such as washing and dressing, for their whole lives.
People with learning disabilities might need you to make other allowances or slightly alter your expectations of what they can do. I LOVE it), groaning at his sarcastic jokes and trying to convince him that spirulina powder really is a superfood worth spending loads of money on.
There are plenty of things in a new relationship that can be awkward, as anyone who’s ever dated anyone will know.
But you know, I’m sure – if our relationship is meant to be ‒ we’ll figure it out, just like anything in any relationship.
Do a bit less walking, a bit more taking the train or car. Disability is just not a dealbreaker for me in the same way someone being rude to me would be. I’m more than a little flabbergasted at the latest figures from the charity Scope, released ahead of Valentine’s Day, which suggest that 67 percent of people in Britain “feel uncomfortable talking to disabled people.” Apparently, my generation, the maligned millennials feel twice as uncomfortable as other groups, with 21 percent saying that they had “actually avoided talking to a disabled person.” This has prompted Scope to launch a campaign called “End the awkward.” Well, I’ve been on a lot of first dates, and let me tell you about awkward.
